Negative Nellies!

Living with poor mental health I always try to look for the positive in life.  Recently I've been removing those that are constantly negative from my life.  It may sound harsh but have a look around you.  Who are the people you'd rather hang around with??!

I'm not talking about those who have a bad day or are going through a rough time.  We all have times like that and being happy and positive is hard.  I'm talking about those who constantly look for the negative in life just so they can moan.  

Why have I done this?  Because to be happy you have to look for it! If happiness and success were easy everyone would be millionaires in their dream jobs!  Life isn't easy, but you don't need to moan about everything.  For example, if it rains when I'm out with Molly I try to look at it that its cooler than usual making it easier to walk rather than moaning I'm getting wet!

One person I've removed from my life would sit and moan about EVERYTHING and if you tried to point out a positive side he'd complain saying you were sticking your nose in!  That then led to me being miserable and quite often angry which did my mental health no good.  So I parted friendships with him.

This morning BBC News they were talking about Happiness courses the Dalai Lama has helped set up.  They teach you Mindfulness and how to be more positive and happy.  They then cut to Dismal Land in Weston Super Mare to a lady who said;

'You can't learn people to be happy, they either are or they ain't'

Oh, where to start!  Maybe with the fact that she looked like she'd swallowed a wasp, or that she looked like she'd never smiled in her life?!

Babies smile and laugh.  Do they do it because they learned or because they're born that way? Does her statement mean that some babies are born unhappy and therefore never laugh or smile?  I've never met a baby that didn't laugh and smile, but that doesn't mean there aren't any out there, but I like to believe that everyone is born with the ability to enjoy life and be happy.  Therefore, we must learn to be miserable and negative too.

Now I'm not talking about the friends you have that some days you have a good moan with.  I've got a few like that and after our moan session we both feel better!  Every one needs to moan some times.  I'm talking about the ones that moan at you all the time and when you leave you feel low and drained.  I was once told these people are Emotion Vampires.  It's a good way of looking at it.  They do drain you and leave you feeling miserable.  Almost as if all the joy has been sucked out of you.

As I said I know people go through tough times.  Sadly I've lost a lot of family and friends the last 4 years, some through long illness, others suddenly.  I choose to look at the positive in it all because if I didn't I'd be sat around crying all the time and one thing I've learned through all those deaths is life is far too short so live for every minute of it.

Being Bipolar and having PTSD and Depression I'm very aware of my mood and how others can change it, which has meant I've learned to notice negative people much quicker than before!  It's become second nature to me.  Sit down and think about the people you know (not just friends.  Acquaintances, co-workers, even people you meet in the street!) Have a think about them, do they seem postitive or negative?  How is your mood after you've met them? How do you feel after they've left?  If the answers are negative or low then maybe it's time to find a way to leave them behind?  It may sound harsh but there are times when you have to think about your own mental health and not others feelings.

I know if you work with some one like this you can't escape them.  You can avoid spending any extra time with them and not talk about personal stuff.  I have someone like that I volunteer with.  She moans about everything and by the time I've left every one feels angry and drained.  I've now started changing the subject to a more positive one that everyone can join in with rather than her sat there moaning dragging every one down!

So that's my challenge to every one I know!  Look for the Negative Nellies in your life and give them the boot!!

And on that note I'm off to volunteer with my NN!  Time for tact and subject changes to begin!! 

What difference

July 2015

While out I realised how far I've come with my walking, I don't mean how far I've walked! I mean how much stronger I am now.

The picture on the right is a screen shot from my phone.  It says I walked 1.58 miles (2.5km) in 54 minutes.  What it doesn't say is I sat down at least 4 times during that because I needed a rest! In fact I used to have to stop as soon as I got to the field as I was in pain.

Today (Sept 2015)

Now look at the picture on the right.  I've walked 2.8km without stopping once.  I took it slow today, usually I can walk that route in 40 minutes but I felt like being lazy today and just wandering along!

The hedge I used to sit by!

It was only as I was up there and I'd walked 2 3rds of the way round I realised I don't have to stop any more.  I had set places I'd stop along the route.  Molly started to learn where they were and she'd potter about while I had a rest.  Now I can carry on and walk the whole route and then some!  Yeah I still need my walking frame but I can walk it!  I'll settle for that! lol!

'MUMMMMM Hurry up!'

For years i just accepted I couldn't walk far and worked round it.  Now I know all I needed to do was push myself a little harder and I can do it.  I've learnt where all the quiet spaces are, where I can go to get away from the town without having to drive out of it and more importantly I feel a lot better for it.  Not just physically, mentally too.  It's reached the point where this hermit doesn't want to be stuck at home!  Come rain or shine Molly drags me out and I love it!  I love walking in the rain and coming home soaked, I love walking in the wind hearing it whistle through the trees as I fight to stand up, I love walking in the sunshine getting a tan and it bleaching my hair!  

It's natural! HONEST!!

Some one asked me yesterday why I'd stopped bleaching my hair.  They were stunned to hear I hadn't bleached it since I was 23!  In fact 4 months ago I used a colour removal kit and stripped the brown off my hair, leaving it natural.  Walking in the sun every afternoon has bleached it without any help.

Most of all I love the freedom it's given me.  Yesterday I walked to the bus stop and got the bus to New College, I then got the bus back to Rodbourne Cheney and walked the 2km home.  Why? Because I could!! lol!  Then once I got home I took Molly out for a 2km walk in the rain!!

I've found an App called My Fitness Pal.  It's helping me to loose weight (lost 2kg so far!) It's full of people like me who are desperate to loose weight but find it difficult.  Together we support each other and point out where we could make changes which would help us loose more weight.  By tracking what I eat I've seen where I've gone wrong, carbs! I'm addicted to them and they're really bad for me!  For years I was told to avoid fat and eat carbs as they're better for me. No they're not! If you're like me and diabetic carbs are the worse thing in the world you can eat.  So I've had to change what I eat and cut as many carbs out of my diet.  It's really helped my blood tests.  The levels have dropped so low I came close to a hypo for the first time in years on Monday!  

I've still got a long way to go but mentally and physically I feel so much better and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel instead of a man with a torch and a sign saying 'The light is off due to maintenance!' 

So here's to more walking and more improvement!

What can I do......?

This week has been a tough one.  There have been two anniversaries that remind us all how precious life is.  9/11 and the Manchester Dogs Home fire plus Foodbank was difficult.

9/11 is a day I will never forget.  I had holiday I had to use up at work so I'd booked the day off but left Teri in nursery so I could get some housework done in peace.  I'd just sat down for lunch (cheese sandwich! See I remember every detail!) I put the tv on to watch Neighbours only to see the news was still on.  It took me a while to realise what I was seeing.  I could see one of the Twin Towers on fire.  They were talking about how a plane had hit the tower.  At that point there was nothing to say it was anything other than a very sad accident.  I sat staring at the scene unable to take it all in.  They were talking about how long the hoses would be on the fire engines and what the chances are of people surviving if they were above the fire.  All I could think was ' you idiots, there's no way they can put that fire out!  The fuel will mean it burns too hot for water and foam hoses won't reach that far'.  

The next thing I know live on screen a plane apears in the back ground.  It was as if the whole thing was in slow motion.  As I type this I can see it in my mind.  14 years on and it's as fresh as the day.  The plane seemed to turn and I remember the news presenter said 'Why haven't they shut air space down?'  An expert (how you can be an expert of somthing that had never happened before I don't know!) said they'd probably grounded flights nearby but a few planes maybe still in the air and being diverted.  He was wrong.  The plane wasn't being diverted.  It had been hijacked and it hit the second tower with such force it seemed to explode out the other side of the tower.

At this point it was clear it was no accident.  One plane, yes. Two? No chance. This was terrorist.

I didn't know what to do.  I wanted to talk to someone so I called my friend at work.  She said she'd heard about the first plane from a collegue who had just come into the office.  He'd heard about it on the radio.  When I explained a second plane had hit she told the rest of the office and they decided to go to the electrical shop next door as they had TV's on all the time.

Just as she hung up the first tower came crashing down.  It was like a bad horror movie.  There were reports of other planes going missing, all countries shut their air space down, guesses of how many had been in the tower.  All I could think was, what time did the first plane hit?  What time did the second one hit? How long in between? Because that's how long we've got until the second tower goes.  Sadly I was right.  I sat there counting the minutes down and on cue the tower fell. 

Why am I typing all this? Because it was the point the world changed.  It showed that no one was safe from the terrorist.  They could hit any where any time.  I'd grown up with the IRA bombing London but this was bigger than them.  So many innocent people were killed in one moment.  The Governments decided we had to go to war to 'stop' them.  It was a revenge mission that saw the Stock Market nose dive, trust in governments fall and general chaos to start.  By going into Iraq for the second time (to be honest if Bush snr had done the job properly the first time we wouldn't of had half of this!) causing instability in the Middle East which in turn has caused the Syrian crisis we've got now.  It's something we should never forget.  I won't ever forget those events.

The second anniversary this week was the Manchester Dogs Home Fire.  (click here for pictures) 150 dogs were killed and several others badly injured because of the actions of 2 young boys.  Sadly they were never formally charged with the murders.  Personally I think they should of been strung up.  What the hell they thought they were doing, their age is no excuse either!  They knew what they were doing and I wouldn't be suprised if they did it again.

As my friends all know I'm a big animal lover and I firmly believe those boys should of been charged with murder.  Just because they're dogs doesn't mean they felt less pain, nor did they suffer any less than we would.  The fact that these boys are out there with new identities makes me sick with anger.

Add to that the number of people who came into the Foodbank because they'd had to choose, school uniform or food? You can see why it's been a tough week!  

I've been lucky this year, Teri has left school so I don't have to buy her uniform.  I get why schools have uniform and I agree with it.  What I don't agree with is schools insisting that you buy their stuff with logos etc on and then they charge you a fortune!  Supermarkets do cheap jumpers and shirts but as most schools insist you have their items you can't buy the £2 jumper, you have to buy the £25 one that last half the time the £2 would!

Surely when it gets to the point that some one is going without food just so they can buy their kids uniform we need to say that's enough, STOP.  I wish I could say that it was only in my distribution I'd heard this sad story.  I spoke to two other distributions and they'd had several people in saying the same thing.  It's wrong!

I'm sorry this has become a bit of a rant, but it needs to be said.  Yes there are big things wrong in the world we can't change but there are small things we can.  What would the schools do if every one turned up in a cheap jumper? Suspend they whole school? Or would they back down and let your kids wear it?  Why don't you talk to other parents and see?  We all sit there and say 'I can't change.....' How do you know you can't if you don't try??!

Have a look round and see whats wrong in your life/area and work out how you can change it rather than sit and moan about it.  

Long weekend!

Molly and Daisy running around the garden!

Yesterday we went to my Grandparents.  It was a difficult day.  My Grandfather has dementia and is getting worse fast.  Molly loved it! She got to run around their garden with their dog Daisy.  She had a great time running about and getting up to mischief! By the time we went home Molly was shattered but as usually she wouldn't admit it, she laid down all the way home but wouldn't sleep!  Once she got home it was another matter.  She curled up on my lap and slept sound!

It was lovely to see my Grandma again.  Steve and Teri cut her hedge as it's too much for her to do (It's huge and took hours to cut!) It means she can carry on doing the rest of the garden and keep it neat and tidy.

I'm going to try something new this week!  I have noticed the more I use my walking frame rather than my stick the better my left hip is.  On top of the spinal injury, I've got mild arthritis in my hips, plus I've got Hypermobility (Double jointed!) so the movement in my hips isn't great but since I've been walking with my frame more than my stick it's got better.  I was looking online when I saw a bit on Nordic Walking.  It says you use poles that are similar to ski poles and they take the pressure off you hips and knees and get your upper body working more.  This is kind of what's happened with me and the frame.  The frame is helping my upper body to hold myself up and taking the strain off my hip which means it's getting a chance to heal and strengthen.   Now I want to get away from using my frame so much.  I'd like to get to a point where I never have to use anything and I just get up and walk wherever I want.  So I've got some walking poles and I'm going to start doing short walks with them.  I might even go out twice in a day, once around the park on the poles then with the frame and Molly around the fields.  I'm going to see how I go!

Wish me luck!! x

Rosie and Molly!

Just before Molly came to live with us my friend lost her Lab to old age.  Merlin was the best dog in the world (well, second to Molly!!) He was soft (fur and head!) and he was so funny.  When he went it was devastating for them, even though they knew it was coming.  It was upsetting for every one who knew him.  He was a well known sight in the area, always out walking with his dad.  

6 months later they decided they were ready to get another dog.  I home check for Holly Hedge Animal Sanctuary in South Bristol so I told her to check out their website.  My friend saw a gorgeous dog called Rosie.  She was originally a street dog in Crete but had been rescued by two Brits living there.  When they're jobs meant they had to move on they couldn't face leaving Rosie there so sent her to the UK for a friend to rehome.  My friend saw all this as a sign!  They had honeymooned in Crete many many (many!) years before, so this had to be a sign she was the dog for them.

Luckily Holly Hedge agreed and within a week she was home with them and their Spaniel, Willow.

Rosie is a big dog.  We've narrowed her breed down to Lurcher, Alsation and Labrador!  She's so sweet and playful.  She loved getting to her new home and playing with all the toys and she loved her new sister Willow but she was nervous around other dogs.  

Molly was fine with Willow, unless a tennis ball was around then she'd get mouthy! But she was a bit nervous around big dogs and they don't come much bigger than Rosie! lol!  So the first time they met Rosie was ok and wanted to play but you could tell they were both a little unsure of each other.  They got on but they weren't best mates.

I was talking to Rosie's mum and she said she wanted to join me walking.  So we arranged to meet up twice a week for a long walk.  I was over the moon to have some company but a little worried about how Molly would behave with Rosie.

I didn't need to worry!  It's now 3 weeks on and Rosie and Molly are best mates!!  Twice a week we meet up and go walking.  Rosie is more than happy for Molly to lead and Molly being a bossy terrier is happy with that!  I was so happy they were getting on.  It means if there's ever an emergency I can have Rosie and Willow or she can have Molly.

This week I saw each dog had got more than friendship out of the walks.  Until this week if Rosie saw another dog she'd hide behind her mum's legs.  If they came near her she'd get in a state.  She was really nervous.  This week she went up to another dog and said hello!!!  She'd come out of her shell and had over come her fears.

I noticed Molly had changed too.  She didn't hide behind me when a big dog came near.  She was much braver and even played with a big lab! Something she'd never done before!

As Molly's 1st 'Gotcha day' comes up I see a different dog from the one we took on who had been found lying by her dead owner.  She's braver, more outgoing, even funnier!  She now has silly little games we play at home!  Plus she knows when I'm not good and cuddles me or when I'm struggling and she pushes me just enough to get me going.  Both dogs are perfect examples of why you should always #AdoptNotShop.

When I got Molly it was because I felt lonely and trapped at home.  I never imagined all she'd do for me.  Now she's got something back from our walks, confidence.  Plus she's given Rosie confidence to be the dog we all know she can be.

Now every time we go for a walk Molly looks for her mate Rosie, and twice a week Molly and Rosie get hyper and nag to go out because they know it's long walk together day! Lol!

Please, if you or any one you know is ever looking for a dog check out your local sanctuary.  There's so many dogs and puppies out there that need homes, you don't need to buy a puppy to get a good dog.  A rescue will love you forever because you saved it.

#AdoptNotShop