Axe Murderer And Other Mental Health Myths!

Many times I considered changing the name of this blog to Axe Murderer And Other Mental Health Myths! The crap I read in the press about Mental Health makes me seeth at times and sadly yesterday more stories came up causing me to blow.

I could post here about how they're all wrong and have my usual rant but what's the point??!  I'm hoping that being honest about being Bipolar has opened friend's eyes so they've started to see things aren't as black and white as they seem.  For example, many friends have said they never imagined I was bipolar because I seem so calm and together!  Hey, you only see the calm and together side of me! lol!  I'm serious! I don't leave the house when I'm hyper or low.  I can lock myself away for months and no one realise.  That's not because I've got bad friends, the opposite is true! I've been very lucky to gather an amazing group of friends who I know are there for me if I ask (and often if I don't!) it just means I've learned to put on the brave face and stiff upper lip and if you see I'm struggling I'm in serious trouble.  

That's what life with poor mental health is like.  You learn to live with it and carry on.  For me, the hardest part of being Bipolar is the paranoia.  I convince myself that people think I'm faking it or I'm lying about my problems so showing I'm struggling makes things worse.  Hence how I've become good at hiding it!

So, when I read in the news that someone has committed a crime because of poor mental health I want to scream!

I know two people with Schizophrenia, one who has been very public and open about it and the other only told me because they knew I knew someone else with it and as I promised I won't reveal who they are to anyone.  In both cases and in 99.99% of other genuine cases I've read about they are no risk to anyone but themselves.  They've both talked to me about how the voices tell them to hurt themselves but never others.  The closest they've ever come to 'hurting' others is when the voices convince them that someone is trying to hurt them or is talking about them in a nasty way and they've cut friendships with that person because they can't cope with the paranoid feelings that come with the friendship.

Yesterday it was announced that Peter Sutcliff was no longer 'ill'.  He had claimed that God had spoken to him and told him to kill prostitutes.  One problem with that, not all his victims were prostitutes!  Now it seems he's been magically cured of Schizophrenia!! (Please, someone give me the number of his doctor! Wonder if he can cure Bipolar too! lol!)  BOLLOCKS!  He was just smart enough to fool people into believing he was ill so he could escape prison and have an easier sentence.

Then last night another case was in the local news and the 'alleged' murderer claims to have heard voices that told her to kill.  There's the simple fact that this isn't what happens to people with Schizophrenia, plus I know someone who was good friends with the 'alleged' and it was the first she'd heard of it!  

It's liars like that who make the rest of us with Mental Health issues look bad.  So to the point of this blog...

... Please take the time to look over the Mind site and see what are the real symptoms of mental health illnesses and next time you see a news story or hear someone claiming to be ill, go back to the site and see how the symptoms check out.  I'm not saying everyone who says they're ill is a liar!  I'm just saying if you take the time to find out what triggers them and what to look out for then maybe one day you'll be able to help someone before they ask for it.

I truly believe we all need to be more aware of poor mental health.  Too often it's swept under the carpet and hidden away because someone is scared of how friends and family would react.  I hid it from everyone, Steve and Teri included, for years because I was scared of being rejected or called a liar.  I still am now!  Every time I type something about being Bipolar I sit and look at it for ages before I post it because I'm scared of how it will be taken.  That will only change if other people's preconceptions change.  So please take the step towards change and check out the site.

Thank you.

PS and as for the 'alleged', justice will be done and Karma will win out.  It has to!

What can I do......?

This week has been a tough one.  There have been two anniversaries that remind us all how precious life is.  9/11 and the Manchester Dogs Home fire plus Foodbank was difficult.

9/11 is a day I will never forget.  I had holiday I had to use up at work so I'd booked the day off but left Teri in nursery so I could get some housework done in peace.  I'd just sat down for lunch (cheese sandwich! See I remember every detail!) I put the tv on to watch Neighbours only to see the news was still on.  It took me a while to realise what I was seeing.  I could see one of the Twin Towers on fire.  They were talking about how a plane had hit the tower.  At that point there was nothing to say it was anything other than a very sad accident.  I sat staring at the scene unable to take it all in.  They were talking about how long the hoses would be on the fire engines and what the chances are of people surviving if they were above the fire.  All I could think was ' you idiots, there's no way they can put that fire out!  The fuel will mean it burns too hot for water and foam hoses won't reach that far'.  

The next thing I know live on screen a plane apears in the back ground.  It was as if the whole thing was in slow motion.  As I type this I can see it in my mind.  14 years on and it's as fresh as the day.  The plane seemed to turn and I remember the news presenter said 'Why haven't they shut air space down?'  An expert (how you can be an expert of somthing that had never happened before I don't know!) said they'd probably grounded flights nearby but a few planes maybe still in the air and being diverted.  He was wrong.  The plane wasn't being diverted.  It had been hijacked and it hit the second tower with such force it seemed to explode out the other side of the tower.

At this point it was clear it was no accident.  One plane, yes. Two? No chance. This was terrorist.

I didn't know what to do.  I wanted to talk to someone so I called my friend at work.  She said she'd heard about the first plane from a collegue who had just come into the office.  He'd heard about it on the radio.  When I explained a second plane had hit she told the rest of the office and they decided to go to the electrical shop next door as they had TV's on all the time.

Just as she hung up the first tower came crashing down.  It was like a bad horror movie.  There were reports of other planes going missing, all countries shut their air space down, guesses of how many had been in the tower.  All I could think was, what time did the first plane hit?  What time did the second one hit? How long in between? Because that's how long we've got until the second tower goes.  Sadly I was right.  I sat there counting the minutes down and on cue the tower fell. 

Why am I typing all this? Because it was the point the world changed.  It showed that no one was safe from the terrorist.  They could hit any where any time.  I'd grown up with the IRA bombing London but this was bigger than them.  So many innocent people were killed in one moment.  The Governments decided we had to go to war to 'stop' them.  It was a revenge mission that saw the Stock Market nose dive, trust in governments fall and general chaos to start.  By going into Iraq for the second time (to be honest if Bush snr had done the job properly the first time we wouldn't of had half of this!) causing instability in the Middle East which in turn has caused the Syrian crisis we've got now.  It's something we should never forget.  I won't ever forget those events.

The second anniversary this week was the Manchester Dogs Home Fire.  (click here for pictures) 150 dogs were killed and several others badly injured because of the actions of 2 young boys.  Sadly they were never formally charged with the murders.  Personally I think they should of been strung up.  What the hell they thought they were doing, their age is no excuse either!  They knew what they were doing and I wouldn't be suprised if they did it again.

As my friends all know I'm a big animal lover and I firmly believe those boys should of been charged with murder.  Just because they're dogs doesn't mean they felt less pain, nor did they suffer any less than we would.  The fact that these boys are out there with new identities makes me sick with anger.

Add to that the number of people who came into the Foodbank because they'd had to choose, school uniform or food? You can see why it's been a tough week!  

I've been lucky this year, Teri has left school so I don't have to buy her uniform.  I get why schools have uniform and I agree with it.  What I don't agree with is schools insisting that you buy their stuff with logos etc on and then they charge you a fortune!  Supermarkets do cheap jumpers and shirts but as most schools insist you have their items you can't buy the £2 jumper, you have to buy the £25 one that last half the time the £2 would!

Surely when it gets to the point that some one is going without food just so they can buy their kids uniform we need to say that's enough, STOP.  I wish I could say that it was only in my distribution I'd heard this sad story.  I spoke to two other distributions and they'd had several people in saying the same thing.  It's wrong!

I'm sorry this has become a bit of a rant, but it needs to be said.  Yes there are big things wrong in the world we can't change but there are small things we can.  What would the schools do if every one turned up in a cheap jumper? Suspend they whole school? Or would they back down and let your kids wear it?  Why don't you talk to other parents and see?  We all sit there and say 'I can't change.....' How do you know you can't if you don't try??!

Have a look round and see whats wrong in your life/area and work out how you can change it rather than sit and moan about it.  

Robert Pruett, Texas, USA. RIP 28/4/2015

Tomorrow between 12 noon and 1pm UK time a man with be murdered in the US. How do I know this? Because he has been scheduled for execution.

Robert Pruett is no angel. I'm not defending what he did, neither is he, but because of a 3 strikes rule and a very iffy trial he was sent to death row to be murdered.

I know some will be offended by the wording here but the legal definition of murder is one person taking another's life and that's what's happening. His life is being taken by another on the grounds that another criminal wanted to get out of jail so he did a deal to testify against him. That was the only evidence. The word of a man who had everything to gain by lying.

I'm a mother and for years I was all for the death penalty. Hell, I'd of happily flicked the switch if anyone hurt my child. However now I'm older I see life differently. Why should someone get out of punishment by death? I feel someone should serve life in prison and live with what they did. A life of suffering should be long not short.

In Roberts case things are different. He's not claimed to be an angel. He knows he's done wrong but he also knows he didn't murder the guard he's being murdered for killing. I've heard all the evidence not just from Robert but what was said in the court etc. Now I'm no judge but to a lay person like me it sounds very weak so how on earth someone convicted him I'll never know!

He's used every appeal he can. There's evidence that will never be heard by a judge because they won't grant him an appeal. Instead they want to get rid of him and have done with it.

One of the last executions in the UK was overturned years after the man was killed because vital evidence was missed the first time round. For him it was too late. His family were granted a Posthumous apology. Like that's going to bring him back and make up for his murder!!!

Now I see it happening again. It makes you wonder how many others are/have been wrongly convicted and murdered? Surely in the year 2015 we're beyond this and these legal murders should be stopped?

Like I said there are some that won't agree with me and will be offended by this. All I ask is that tomorrow during the hour of Roberts death you stop and think of him and all those on Death Row. No one is infallible, everyone makes mistakes. Could you sentence someone to death and be 110% sure they're guilty?

Thank you for reading.