Axe Murderer And Other Mental Health Myths!

Many times I considered changing the name of this blog to Axe Murderer And Other Mental Health Myths! The crap I read in the press about Mental Health makes me seeth at times and sadly yesterday more stories came up causing me to blow.

I could post here about how they're all wrong and have my usual rant but what's the point??!  I'm hoping that being honest about being Bipolar has opened friend's eyes so they've started to see things aren't as black and white as they seem.  For example, many friends have said they never imagined I was bipolar because I seem so calm and together!  Hey, you only see the calm and together side of me! lol!  I'm serious! I don't leave the house when I'm hyper or low.  I can lock myself away for months and no one realise.  That's not because I've got bad friends, the opposite is true! I've been very lucky to gather an amazing group of friends who I know are there for me if I ask (and often if I don't!) it just means I've learned to put on the brave face and stiff upper lip and if you see I'm struggling I'm in serious trouble.  

That's what life with poor mental health is like.  You learn to live with it and carry on.  For me, the hardest part of being Bipolar is the paranoia.  I convince myself that people think I'm faking it or I'm lying about my problems so showing I'm struggling makes things worse.  Hence how I've become good at hiding it!

So, when I read in the news that someone has committed a crime because of poor mental health I want to scream!

I know two people with Schizophrenia, one who has been very public and open about it and the other only told me because they knew I knew someone else with it and as I promised I won't reveal who they are to anyone.  In both cases and in 99.99% of other genuine cases I've read about they are no risk to anyone but themselves.  They've both talked to me about how the voices tell them to hurt themselves but never others.  The closest they've ever come to 'hurting' others is when the voices convince them that someone is trying to hurt them or is talking about them in a nasty way and they've cut friendships with that person because they can't cope with the paranoid feelings that come with the friendship.

Yesterday it was announced that Peter Sutcliff was no longer 'ill'.  He had claimed that God had spoken to him and told him to kill prostitutes.  One problem with that, not all his victims were prostitutes!  Now it seems he's been magically cured of Schizophrenia!! (Please, someone give me the number of his doctor! Wonder if he can cure Bipolar too! lol!)  BOLLOCKS!  He was just smart enough to fool people into believing he was ill so he could escape prison and have an easier sentence.

Then last night another case was in the local news and the 'alleged' murderer claims to have heard voices that told her to kill.  There's the simple fact that this isn't what happens to people with Schizophrenia, plus I know someone who was good friends with the 'alleged' and it was the first she'd heard of it!  

It's liars like that who make the rest of us with Mental Health issues look bad.  So to the point of this blog...

... Please take the time to look over the Mind site and see what are the real symptoms of mental health illnesses and next time you see a news story or hear someone claiming to be ill, go back to the site and see how the symptoms check out.  I'm not saying everyone who says they're ill is a liar!  I'm just saying if you take the time to find out what triggers them and what to look out for then maybe one day you'll be able to help someone before they ask for it.

I truly believe we all need to be more aware of poor mental health.  Too often it's swept under the carpet and hidden away because someone is scared of how friends and family would react.  I hid it from everyone, Steve and Teri included, for years because I was scared of being rejected or called a liar.  I still am now!  Every time I type something about being Bipolar I sit and look at it for ages before I post it because I'm scared of how it will be taken.  That will only change if other people's preconceptions change.  So please take the step towards change and check out the site.

Thank you.

PS and as for the 'alleged', justice will be done and Karma will win out.  It has to!

Mad Week!

My chance for a lie in and I wake up at 6.30am!!  Well, it's an extra half hour I guess!!

It's been a manic week!  Donations to the Swindon Foodbank have been through the roof!  My last count was 6 tons, but that was before Friday's lot arrived!  It's lovely to see so many donations at a time when people are struggling.  It shows community spirit is still alive.

I had the pleasure of going to Red Oaks Primary in Swindon yesterday.  It's an amazing school.  At their assembly, they had a teacher doing sign language and every time someone went to the front to speak they had to wear a microphone for those wearing hearing aids.  They also had a severely disabled child whose class was organising a fundraiser for!  

Sadly as a dyslexic I've seen many schools that exclude children for the most simple disability.  Red Oaks couldn't be further from that.  Every child was made to feel welcome and included.  It was lovely to see and the children and teachers all seemed very happy and welcoming.

The head asked us if the children could help us pack up at the end.  Of course, we said yes!  The kids were amazing! They're part of the schools 'Charity Club'.  They'd set up the tables and food for the assembly and at the end they took all the food and packed it into the crates, then they carried it out to the van.  It was their break time, but that didn't bother them, they wanted to help us.  

They also asked me questions about the food they'd given, was it ok they gave pasta sauce, would the items be of use, what could they do for us in the future.  It was truly wonderful to hear them so interested.  It made it clear this was something they felt passionately about and they weren't going it because the teachers told them to.

One thing I learned from Amy's talk at Red Oaks was that last year Swindon Foodbank fed 6,000 people.  That doesn't sound like much until you realise there's only 185,609 in Swindon.  That means that 1 in 30 residents had been in need in the last year.  In Red Oaks there are 550 students, so in that school alone 18 children could have used the Foodbank.  Look at it like that and the numbers are scary.

Speaking of numbers you think that 6 tons is a lot of food.  That is only enough for 3000 families.  So half of what's needed.  Take away from that any food that's out of date, opened, damaged or not on the list of food given away and it drops even more.  Now you see why donations are so important and why the work done by Andrew, Amy and the volunteers at Swindon Foodbank is so important.

On a lighter note, I'm going to see an old mate today.  Time for a chat and a catch-up!  Might go to the pub we used to go to in college a very long time ago! (No I'm not saying how may years! It's too many to think of!)

I'll leave you with the line Amy used at the end of the assembly.  I think it's perfect and something we should all do;

'When you sit down for dinner tonight, think of those less fortunate who could be going without'

What difference

July 2015

While out I realised how far I've come with my walking, I don't mean how far I've walked! I mean how much stronger I am now.

The picture on the right is a screen shot from my phone.  It says I walked 1.58 miles (2.5km) in 54 minutes.  What it doesn't say is I sat down at least 4 times during that because I needed a rest! In fact I used to have to stop as soon as I got to the field as I was in pain.

Today (Sept 2015)

Now look at the picture on the right.  I've walked 2.8km without stopping once.  I took it slow today, usually I can walk that route in 40 minutes but I felt like being lazy today and just wandering along!

The hedge I used to sit by!

It was only as I was up there and I'd walked 2 3rds of the way round I realised I don't have to stop any more.  I had set places I'd stop along the route.  Molly started to learn where they were and she'd potter about while I had a rest.  Now I can carry on and walk the whole route and then some!  Yeah I still need my walking frame but I can walk it!  I'll settle for that! lol!

'MUMMMMM Hurry up!'

For years i just accepted I couldn't walk far and worked round it.  Now I know all I needed to do was push myself a little harder and I can do it.  I've learnt where all the quiet spaces are, where I can go to get away from the town without having to drive out of it and more importantly I feel a lot better for it.  Not just physically, mentally too.  It's reached the point where this hermit doesn't want to be stuck at home!  Come rain or shine Molly drags me out and I love it!  I love walking in the rain and coming home soaked, I love walking in the wind hearing it whistle through the trees as I fight to stand up, I love walking in the sunshine getting a tan and it bleaching my hair!  

It's natural! HONEST!!

Some one asked me yesterday why I'd stopped bleaching my hair.  They were stunned to hear I hadn't bleached it since I was 23!  In fact 4 months ago I used a colour removal kit and stripped the brown off my hair, leaving it natural.  Walking in the sun every afternoon has bleached it without any help.

Most of all I love the freedom it's given me.  Yesterday I walked to the bus stop and got the bus to New College, I then got the bus back to Rodbourne Cheney and walked the 2km home.  Why? Because I could!! lol!  Then once I got home I took Molly out for a 2km walk in the rain!!

I've found an App called My Fitness Pal.  It's helping me to loose weight (lost 2kg so far!) It's full of people like me who are desperate to loose weight but find it difficult.  Together we support each other and point out where we could make changes which would help us loose more weight.  By tracking what I eat I've seen where I've gone wrong, carbs! I'm addicted to them and they're really bad for me!  For years I was told to avoid fat and eat carbs as they're better for me. No they're not! If you're like me and diabetic carbs are the worse thing in the world you can eat.  So I've had to change what I eat and cut as many carbs out of my diet.  It's really helped my blood tests.  The levels have dropped so low I came close to a hypo for the first time in years on Monday!  

I've still got a long way to go but mentally and physically I feel so much better and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel instead of a man with a torch and a sign saying 'The light is off due to maintenance!' 

So here's to more walking and more improvement!