Update, of sorts!!

I've not posted for a while.  Several reasons.  Been really busy, been on holiday and had too many things going around my head so I didn't know what to post!  I know hardly anyone reads this (if anyone does!! lol!) But I enjoy posting and looking back over my post.  It's helped me to sort thought, explain who I am and to help me to feel accepted in the world.  So I'm going to keep posting! lol!

Molly is well.  She's curled up on my lap snoozing after messing about trying to eat my foot!!!  She does that every so often, she'll pretend she's big and scary and bark at me then I ignore her and she growls and pretends to bite my foot.  Anyone watching through the window would think that she's a vicious dog attacking me!  She's not, she's a nutty pup who loves play fighting.  She's boisterous but if she really hurt anyone she'd be so upset!  I find it fun too.  We mess about and play fight then she falls asleep and I can to some work.  It's our routine I guess!  Strange but that's us!

View from Caravan!

We had an amazing holiday at Devon Cliffs.  The view was amazing as usual. That's the good thing about holidays on a cliff, wherever you are you look out to sea!  I spent hours watching fishing boats.  It was so relaxing and just what we all needed.

Molly on the beach

Molly loved the beach!!  She wasn't so keen on the waves! They didn't taste nice and they kept sneaking up on her so she tried to bark at them!  Hey, I never said she was sensible!  

It's one of the big advantages of going in October.  Dogs are allowed on the beach.  It was a very big, steep slope down to the beach, but I made it down there.  We had a lovely walk along the beach.  It was the end of October, but we were baking!  We were very lucky with the weather too.  It rained on the Friday night and Saturday but Sunday and Monday was really hot.  Mind you the rain didn't put us off.  We went for a walk between showers!

Finally, a decent shot of Steve!

Teri took some amazing pictures.  She really enjoyed wandering off with her camera and catching random shots.  She even managed to get a nice one of Steve!!! That's very hard to do!!

She got right up on the cliff and took shots of the Jurasic Coast line.  It's amazing to see and to be honest the only way you'd see it is by climbing to the top like she did or by boat.  There's no way down to sea on this side of the cliff.  What you can't see on this picture is the clay is so red the colour 'bleeds' into the sea and the whole coastline water is as red as the cliff.  It's beautiful to see.

My favourite shot was taken by chance!  Steve and I had popped out in the car on the last night there so Teri took Molly for a walk and took her camera for some final shots.  She managed to get the most amazing shot of the sea, sky and moon.  The blue of the sky could only of lasted a few minutes.  If she'd gone out any earlier or later she'd of missed it.  

The last night.

The blue looks like it could of been painted by angels.  The moon gently dabbed in by faries.  The land shaded by pixies.   If you can't tell I love it!  I'm going to get it printed on a canvas so I can put it on the wall.  Some times I look at a picture and feel it's special and this one is very special.

It was lovely to be home in our own beds but I loved being by the sea with amazing views to walk in.  If I won the lottery I'd buy a caravan down there and never leave!  It was a badly needed holiday for us all.  Hopefully next year it's the Isle of Man then the year after we'll go back to Devon Cliffs.  It's become a home away from home!

And it's back to the real world with a bang.  Lots of work to do, studying to do (btw got my exam result and I passed!!) and lots of driving Teri to and from college and work!  All her hard work has paid off and she's got a Christmas Temp job at Argos!  Here's hoping it helps her to find something permenant!

Well that's us.  Time to get sorted and prepare for THAT event at the end of December! x

One Year On .....

This time last year I was in a dark place.  I was depressed, lonely, felt like I wasn't going any where and I'd never be happy.

The 18th October 2014 came round and my life changed totally.

Because of what happened on 18th October I am now walking 2km per day.  

Because of what happened on 18th October I am now walking with walking sticks and not a frame.

Because of what happened on 18th October I am now driving.

Because of what happened on 18th October I am now happy, safe and no longer feel alone.

So what happened?  In one word.....

MOLLY!

Who'd of guessed the one thing I needed in my life was a mad mixed terrier!?!  Since she came to live with us I have some one there 24/7 who will love me, cuddle me and make me feel needed.  She nags me to take her for a walk every day so I go out and my strength is getting better every day.  If you'd of told me this time last year that I'd enjoy walking and I'd be getting good at it I'd of laughed at you! But I am! I love getting out and going for a walk, come rain or shine, it's just nice to be outside away from everything for a while so I can clear my head.

I've still got some way to go but I'm hoping that the strength I've built up now I can keep going through out the winter and the bad weather.

I know Molly won't realise what day it is on 18th but I will.  It will be the day my life turned around and I could start to see a better life ahead.

And I owe all that to Molly.

and it's a good night from Molly xxxxxx 

 

What difference

July 2015

While out I realised how far I've come with my walking, I don't mean how far I've walked! I mean how much stronger I am now.

The picture on the right is a screen shot from my phone.  It says I walked 1.58 miles (2.5km) in 54 minutes.  What it doesn't say is I sat down at least 4 times during that because I needed a rest! In fact I used to have to stop as soon as I got to the field as I was in pain.

Today (Sept 2015)

Now look at the picture on the right.  I've walked 2.8km without stopping once.  I took it slow today, usually I can walk that route in 40 minutes but I felt like being lazy today and just wandering along!

The hedge I used to sit by!

It was only as I was up there and I'd walked 2 3rds of the way round I realised I don't have to stop any more.  I had set places I'd stop along the route.  Molly started to learn where they were and she'd potter about while I had a rest.  Now I can carry on and walk the whole route and then some!  Yeah I still need my walking frame but I can walk it!  I'll settle for that! lol!

'MUMMMMM Hurry up!'

For years i just accepted I couldn't walk far and worked round it.  Now I know all I needed to do was push myself a little harder and I can do it.  I've learnt where all the quiet spaces are, where I can go to get away from the town without having to drive out of it and more importantly I feel a lot better for it.  Not just physically, mentally too.  It's reached the point where this hermit doesn't want to be stuck at home!  Come rain or shine Molly drags me out and I love it!  I love walking in the rain and coming home soaked, I love walking in the wind hearing it whistle through the trees as I fight to stand up, I love walking in the sunshine getting a tan and it bleaching my hair!  

It's natural! HONEST!!

Some one asked me yesterday why I'd stopped bleaching my hair.  They were stunned to hear I hadn't bleached it since I was 23!  In fact 4 months ago I used a colour removal kit and stripped the brown off my hair, leaving it natural.  Walking in the sun every afternoon has bleached it without any help.

Most of all I love the freedom it's given me.  Yesterday I walked to the bus stop and got the bus to New College, I then got the bus back to Rodbourne Cheney and walked the 2km home.  Why? Because I could!! lol!  Then once I got home I took Molly out for a 2km walk in the rain!!

I've found an App called My Fitness Pal.  It's helping me to loose weight (lost 2kg so far!) It's full of people like me who are desperate to loose weight but find it difficult.  Together we support each other and point out where we could make changes which would help us loose more weight.  By tracking what I eat I've seen where I've gone wrong, carbs! I'm addicted to them and they're really bad for me!  For years I was told to avoid fat and eat carbs as they're better for me. No they're not! If you're like me and diabetic carbs are the worse thing in the world you can eat.  So I've had to change what I eat and cut as many carbs out of my diet.  It's really helped my blood tests.  The levels have dropped so low I came close to a hypo for the first time in years on Monday!  

I've still got a long way to go but mentally and physically I feel so much better and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel instead of a man with a torch and a sign saying 'The light is off due to maintenance!' 

So here's to more walking and more improvement!