I'm not talking about those who have a bad day or are going through a rough time. We all have times like that and being happy and positive is hard. I'm talking about those who constantly look for the negative in life just so they can moan.
Why have I done this? Because to be happy you have to look for it! If happiness and success were easy everyone would be millionaires in their dream jobs! Life isn't easy, but you don't need to moan about everything. For example, if it rains when I'm out with Molly I try to look at it that its cooler than usual making it easier to walk rather than moaning I'm getting wet!
One person I've removed from my life would sit and moan about EVERYTHING and if you tried to point out a positive side he'd complain saying you were sticking your nose in! That then led to me being miserable and quite often angry which did my mental health no good. So I parted friendships with him.
This morning BBC News they were talking about Happiness courses the Dalai Lama has helped set up. They teach you Mindfulness and how to be more positive and happy. They then cut to Dismal Land in Weston Super Mare to a lady who said;
'You can't learn people to be happy, they either are or they ain't'
Oh, where to start! Maybe with the fact that she looked like she'd swallowed a wasp, or that she looked like she'd never smiled in her life?!
Babies smile and laugh. Do they do it because they learned or because they're born that way? Does her statement mean that some babies are born unhappy and therefore never laugh or smile? I've never met a baby that didn't laugh and smile, but that doesn't mean there aren't any out there, but I like to believe that everyone is born with the ability to enjoy life and be happy. Therefore, we must learn to be miserable and negative too.
Now I'm not talking about the friends you have that some days you have a good moan with. I've got a few like that and after our moan session we both feel better! Every one needs to moan some times. I'm talking about the ones that moan at you all the time and when you leave you feel low and drained. I was once told these people are Emotion Vampires. It's a good way of looking at it. They do drain you and leave you feeling miserable. Almost as if all the joy has been sucked out of you.
As I said I know people go through tough times. Sadly I've lost a lot of family and friends the last 4 years, some through long illness, others suddenly. I choose to look at the positive in it all because if I didn't I'd be sat around crying all the time and one thing I've learned through all those deaths is life is far too short so live for every minute of it.
Being Bipolar and having PTSD and Depression I'm very aware of my mood and how others can change it, which has meant I've learned to notice negative people much quicker than before! It's become second nature to me. Sit down and think about the people you know (not just friends. Acquaintances, co-workers, even people you meet in the street!) Have a think about them, do they seem postitive or negative? How is your mood after you've met them? How do you feel after they've left? If the answers are negative or low then maybe it's time to find a way to leave them behind? It may sound harsh but there are times when you have to think about your own mental health and not others feelings.
I know if you work with some one like this you can't escape them. You can avoid spending any extra time with them and not talk about personal stuff. I have someone like that I volunteer with. She moans about everything and by the time I've left every one feels angry and drained. I've now started changing the subject to a more positive one that everyone can join in with rather than her sat there moaning dragging every one down!
So that's my challenge to every one I know! Look for the Negative Nellies in your life and give them the boot!!
And on that note I'm off to volunteer with my NN! Time for tact and subject changes to begin!!
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