When I was in Primary school we had a Pagan Druid come in for a visit. He talked about his beliefs and traditions and how Stonehenge is a spiritual centre, a sort of church to the Pagans. Having travelled to London from Taunton several times I'd seen Stonehenge from the road but never been there. I felt a pull towards it but never once visited.
As I grew up and things happened to me mainline religion just didn't sit with me and the more spiritual side of Paganism became more and more attractive to me. I knew all about the Summer and Winter Solstice, I knew the summer one had become a bit, commercial. It had become an excuse for excess and other things! The Pagan meaning behind it lost. No one ever talked about the Winter one, I guess it was too cold for dancing around naked and drinking!!! For me, the pull was towards the Winter Solstice. I didn't know why! It just did. I knew it was around the 21st December, but that was it! I didn't know how to arrange to go or what would happen there. I just knew I had to go.
A few years ago an old school friend told me someone had posted a picture of us at school in South Wales. I was curious so had a look. I'd moved from South Wales in 1989 and only had contact with 3 friends from back then so I was interested in who had my picture! It turned out to be a girl who was in my year at school called Mandy. We'd been mates and chatted in class a few times but weren't close mates so when I moved we didn't stay in contact. We got chatting about old times etc and then about our lives now and she told me she was a Wiccan. Now before you read that and think she's a mad woman who flies a broom and casts spells to turn people into frogs, she doesn't fly a broom. Well not to work anyway, parking it is a nightmare!! I'd tried to study Wiccan, tarot and mediumship but still didn't feel confident talking to others about it. I'd told a few friends, but I was worried about what others think.
Then last year Mandy posted pictures of herself at the Winter Solstice. I was so jealous but couldn't see how I could ever go. I couldn't let Steve sit in the car for hours while I was at the Stones and I knew he wouldn't want to come so it wasn't fair to ask! So I lived my dream through Mandy. She would go to the Solstice and I could look at her photos and hear the stories.
Just before Mandy went to the Solstice I got Molly and started walking with her. I was determined to build my strength up. As I did I found out I could get my driving licence back. Suddenly things started to fall into place. If I could get strong enough to walk to and stand by the stones and I could get my licence back I could go to the Solstice! I didn't tell anyone, not even Steve and Teri! Then my licence came back and I could do it! I could go to the Solstice!
I messaged Mandy and said I wanted to go with her and she helped me apply for a ticket. It was a very long wait until I got the email from Gorsedd of Cor Gawr saying I had a ticket! Even that was a story!!
To be sure I got a ticket Mandy applied for an extra ticket. So we ended up with 3 tickets for 2 people! Mandy emailed saying she didn't need the extra ticket and offered it back. Yesterday Mandy wasn't sure what ticket was hers and which was spare so printed off both. As we're waiting to go in I was talking to a lovely lady about how it was my first time, she said she'd been several times but not for the last few years and how she only got a ticket at the last minute. It turned out she had the spare ticket we'd given back!! Out of 80 people there I ended up talking to the one person who had our spare, what were the chances!?!
As we waited to go to the Stones it started raining, really raining! We were wrapped up but not waterproof! Mandy ran back to the car and got my umbrella just in case! Luckily we didn't need it until the last 5 minutes of the service. The other 135 minutes were cold but dry!
I wish I could type all about the rite but most of it was very special to me and let's just say the spirits made it clear they were there for me! I had a family with 2 very young children beside me. It was lovely to see children at the rite. I had my walking frame with me so I could sit down if I needed to. I was ok, but the young girl wanted to sit down so I asked her if she wanted to sit on my chair. Her dad said 'Oh no don't worry! You'll need it!' I said I was fine and lifted her onto the chair. I know some people believe kids shouldn't go to church etc. but I believe kids should go to services and rites, how else will they ever learn about these things and then find the right path for themselves? They'll end up like me, 40 and not sure what to do!! On the way home I was talking to the girls mum and she apologised for the kids talking etc. I told her not to worry!! They didn't disturb anything and everyone made sure the kids were included. To me, it made it more special.
Add to that catching up with a friend I've not seen in 26 years and it was an amazing day! It was so much more than I expected. For the first time, I felt I fitted and belonged. All of the Cor Gawr members welcomed me as a new member, it was lovely.
During the service, there's a chance for you to become a full Pagan. A bit like First Communion or Confirmation. Mandy stepped up and became a member. I've decided I will next year. I will step up and say my vow. Part of me wishes I'd done it last night but It didn't feel right to do it so soon. It was very special seeing Mandy do it. I'm so glad I was there!
After the service, we went back to Mandy's to warm up! I only planned to stay for an hour but come 10 pm we were still talking!!!! Oops!! I crawled in at 11 pm, still cold and very tired but so so happy. Not only had I met up with a very old friend and a kindred spirit but as I said...
... my dream had come true!
As I grew up and things happened to me mainline religion just didn't sit with me and the more spiritual side of Paganism became more and more attractive to me. I knew all about the Summer and Winter Solstice, I knew the summer one had become a bit, commercial. It had become an excuse for excess and other things! The Pagan meaning behind it lost. No one ever talked about the Winter one, I guess it was too cold for dancing around naked and drinking!!! For me, the pull was towards the Winter Solstice. I didn't know why! It just did. I knew it was around the 21st December, but that was it! I didn't know how to arrange to go or what would happen there. I just knew I had to go.
 |
| Mandy and Me outside Stonehenge |
Then last year Mandy posted pictures of herself at the Winter Solstice. I was so jealous but couldn't see how I could ever go. I couldn't let Steve sit in the car for hours while I was at the Stones and I knew he wouldn't want to come so it wasn't fair to ask! So I lived my dream through Mandy. She would go to the Solstice and I could look at her photos and hear the stories.
Just before Mandy went to the Solstice I got Molly and started walking with her. I was determined to build my strength up. As I did I found out I could get my driving licence back. Suddenly things started to fall into place. If I could get strong enough to walk to and stand by the stones and I could get my licence back I could go to the Solstice! I didn't tell anyone, not even Steve and Teri! Then my licence came back and I could do it! I could go to the Solstice!
I messaged Mandy and said I wanted to go with her and she helped me apply for a ticket. It was a very long wait until I got the email from Gorsedd of Cor Gawr saying I had a ticket! Even that was a story!!
To be sure I got a ticket Mandy applied for an extra ticket. So we ended up with 3 tickets for 2 people! Mandy emailed saying she didn't need the extra ticket and offered it back. Yesterday Mandy wasn't sure what ticket was hers and which was spare so printed off both. As we're waiting to go in I was talking to a lovely lady about how it was my first time, she said she'd been several times but not for the last few years and how she only got a ticket at the last minute. It turned out she had the spare ticket we'd given back!! Out of 80 people there I ended up talking to the one person who had our spare, what were the chances!?!
As we waited to go to the Stones it started raining, really raining! We were wrapped up but not waterproof! Mandy ran back to the car and got my umbrella just in case! Luckily we didn't need it until the last 5 minutes of the service. The other 135 minutes were cold but dry!
 |
| Taken in the dark during the service! |
Add to that catching up with a friend I've not seen in 26 years and it was an amazing day! It was so much more than I expected. For the first time, I felt I fitted and belonged. All of the Cor Gawr members welcomed me as a new member, it was lovely.
During the service, there's a chance for you to become a full Pagan. A bit like First Communion or Confirmation. Mandy stepped up and became a member. I've decided I will next year. I will step up and say my vow. Part of me wishes I'd done it last night but It didn't feel right to do it so soon. It was very special seeing Mandy do it. I'm so glad I was there!
After the service, we went back to Mandy's to warm up! I only planned to stay for an hour but come 10 pm we were still talking!!!! Oops!! I crawled in at 11 pm, still cold and very tired but so so happy. Not only had I met up with a very old friend and a kindred spirit but as I said...
... my dream had come true!
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| My dream night 20th December 2015 |
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